THE WOODEN SWORDS CHAPTER 11. - A PROVOCATON

We had a problem. And it started Friday afternoon with Ralph's stomach! But I’d better start from the beginning.

When I got home from school, Mum told me that Mrs. Stewart would be coming to look after us tonight because they had just arranged to go out with Anne and Perry's parents for a meal, but they agreed to let all the kids stay at one house, ours! I was really happy because we could discuss our battle plan more and have some practice fights in the garden.

As I have said, my sister is very young and she needs a babysitter when my parents go out for an evening together. Mrs. Stewart is a nice old woman, about sixty I think, and has known my parents for a very long time, even before I was born.

- So, lad, what's your new castle like? Is it safe from marauding bandits?

- Yeah, Dad. No bandits will be able to beat us. Timmy's treehouse is really high.

 - Your uncle and I used to have one, you know! Your grandfather built it for us.

- I’ve seen the photos! Why can't you build us one?

- Well, firstly you need a tree big and strong enough, neither of which applies to the trees in our garden. We could plant an acorn, wait for an oak to grow and then maybe you could build your grandchildren a treehouse in it. Can you wait that long?

- Dad! That's not funny.

- Anyway, I've got to go and get ready for tonight. I don't want to keep you mum waiting again. By the way, don't spend too long up in Timmy's treehouse or you may start thinking you're a bird - tweet, teeet!

Dad disappeared into the bathroom making more bird noises and I went to my room to prepare for the night's battle.

• Alex! Ralph’s on the phone. Come here!

That was very strange. My friends never call me on the phone and definitely never Ralph. This must be an emergency.

- Hi Ralph! What's the matter?

- We have a serious problem!

- What sort of problem? Is the HQ ok?

- The HQ is fine. They have declared war!

- Who, the cowboys?

- Yes! They took the last chocolate cake!

- The cowboys took the last chocolate cake and that means war? I don't understand, Ralph.

- The fat kid from Elm Street took the last cake from the candy store. It was being saved for me, mister!

- And you think that means they have declared war?

- Yes, you are the leader and you must think of something quickly!

I didn't want to dismiss Ralph's report as a misunderstanding between the candy store and him, so I decided to organize an emergency meeting if Mum and Dad would let me.

- Mum, Perry and Anne are coming here about five o’clock, can I also invite the others for a couple of hours. I promise we'll be good and won't cause Mrs Stewart any problems. We must have an emergency meeting because I think war has been declared!

- Oh my, that does sound bad. I guess you can ask them for a few hours, since it isn't a school night. I'll just check with Mrs Stewart on the phone if she can handle Maria and the Kings Road Knights.

I waited impatiently as she phoned Mrs Stewart and checked upon her child minding capabilities. After listening to my mum answer a number of inaudible questions, she hung up and turned to me.

- Now, Alex.

She was standing with her hands on her hips and I was nervous about what she was about to say.

- You can invite your friends, but…

I threw my arms around my mum and gave her a big hug.

- Anything, Mum. Anything!

- No noise, no playing in the house and they must all go home at eight, except Anne and Perry of course.

I hugged her even harder and grabbed the phone. We never phoned one another and now I was calling almost all of them. Once I had invited the Adam and he had shouted 'Beggars' done the phone, I knew that this must mean war.

- Whets up, lad? Why all this excitement?

- It's war, Dad. We have to have an emergency meeting. Mum's said that my friends can come round for a few hours.

- I don't know about that.

- Dad! Mum said it was okay and Mrs Stewart said it was ok.

- I mean, do I want my house to be used to plan a war? What if the enemy learns of your location and attacks while I am watching TV one evening? I bet the house isn't as safe as Timmy's treehouse…and I bet there are spies around here too.

- Why do you tease me like that Dad? They won't attack because we haven't agreed to their declaration of war yet…What do you mean 'spies'?

- Pies? Don't tell me that Ralph has asked for food to be served!

-  Mum! Dad was talking about spies, not pies. Although, could we have some snacks?

- Luckily, I went to the supermarket today; you will find some snacks in the cupboard, but don’t over do it, especially Ralph. I don't want his mum phoning me up again. That boy can certainly eat. This boy should have a bit of diet and you should tell him that. It's not good for his health to be so fat at his age. Tell him that!

- Yes Mum, we will.

It was set. Mrs. Stewart was coming at four thirty; Anne and Perry would be dropped off by their parents at the same time and then they would drive my parents to the restaurant. Everybody else would arrive at five or as soon as their parents let them out of the house. Mrs. Stewart would keep my sister busy during this emergency meeting and I would have to remember to thank her for that.

- I was there ready to take it and do you know what the woman said? Do you?

- What?

- Sorry, the other boy just had the last piece. There's some strawberry cake if you are interested.

- I stormed out of the shop and ran to catch that chocolate cake thief.

- I don't believe it! You ran?

- Shut up! I demanded my cake back and he just laughed. I went to grab it and, and, do you know what he did? He shoved the whole slice into his mouth at once! At ate it right in front of me.

- Then what happened?

- Nothing. I came home and phoned Alex.

- When was the declaration of war?

- The cake, when he ate the cake!

- That's not a declaration of war. They need to write on a piece of paper, 'We are at war with you' and hand it to us. We then write the same and give it to them. Then we are at war. Chocolate cake has nothing to do with it, Ralph.

- Oh, I didn't know…is anybody going to eat those cupcakes?