When I was loved by the sun #Poem by Abigail George

You did not love me
You couldn't if you tried
The illusion of you loved me better still
Perhaps it was meant to be this way
Perhaps it was just meant to be this way
That you would be seduced by other women
That you would marry
That there would be a suitable girl on your arm at a party eating canapes and drinking merlot or cabernet
That you would have a wife
Far lovelier and younger than me
With a steadfast personality and psychological profile
I could not give you children
I forget the reason why
That glaring moment of indecision that tore the fabric of us apart
I wish you journey safe my love
Until you return to me
For now I have the illusion of you
The light beer cooling in the fridge
These images of war of rust and blood and honey in my hands
I think of Cambodian snow and heat
You underground in the mine
Your security clearance
Your stint in the Congo
Your stories
How I long for your stories
Your voice
To feel your hand in the small of my back
Making circular motions and zigzag patterns
The night is as long as my memory
Day is pain when this soldier's wife remembers you.