April Fool’s has never felt so permanent by Sabine Fischer

There are pranks that make you chuckle, pranks that make you roll your eyes, and then there’s the mother of all pranks: Donald Trump’s another term in office. It’s as if the calendar got stuck on April 1st, and the entire world is the butt of a joke so elaborate, even the most seasoned pranksters are taking notes.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves, America has renewed the Trump Show for another four years, and this season promises even more plot twists, legal drama, and orange-hued rants than before.

Remember when sequels were supposed to be bigger and better? Hollywood taught us that, but Washington seems to have misunderstood. Instead of grandeur, we’re now getting a rehash of past lunacy with extra doses of conspiracy theories, more ‘covfefe’ moments, and a White House that increasingly resembles a reality TV reunion special where everyone is suing each other.

From the very moment he took the oath ...again, Trump wasted no time in making it clear that governance is just another season of ‘The Apprentice.’ Only this time, the stakes are higher, and instead of firing interns, he’s setting his sights on democracy itself.

While the rest of us are still coming to terms with what feels like a mass hallucination, Trump is busy doing what he does best, rewriting history and settling scores. The Department of Justice? Expect it to be rebranded into ‘Trump’s Department of Vengeance.’ The Supreme Court? Well, let’s just say that if robes came in gold with sequins, we’d see some changes pretty soon.

And let’s not forget his foreign policy, which now largely consists of taunting world leaders on social media and making sure his golf courses in Scotland get diplomatic immunity. The United Nations, NATO, and anyone who ever looked at him the wrong way? Gone. Or at least severely scolded on Truth Social.

Somewhere in a parallel universe, the history books are laughing themselves to tears. ‘How did they let it happen again?’ they ask. Simple: America, much like an easily fooled relative, fell for the same trick twice.

Voters convinced themselves that ‘maybe this time will be different,’ only to realize that it’s like eating gas station sushi, risky, regrettable, and inevitably leading to chaos.

Gone are the days when political discourse involved complex policy debates. Now, it’s all about who can shout ‘fake news’ the loudest while ignoring reality with Olympic-level precision. His base is fired up, his critics are exhausted, and somewhere in the middle, the rest of the world is watching America like a neighbour who insists on setting off fireworks indoors.

The most ironic part? Trump, the supposed anti-establishment crusader, has become the very thing he once ranted against: the ultimate Washington insider. Except instead of shadowy backroom deals, he conducts his politics live on social media with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball on a sugar rush.

The next four years will likely be a mix of nostalgia and fresh absurdity. Expect a wall update (this time, maybe with Trump Tower branding), a fresh batch of lawsuits that somehow never reach their logical conclusion, and an economy that fluctuates with the frequency of his Twitter mood swings.

And at the heart of it all? A man who still can’t believe he’s running the country again.

America has spoken, and the message is clear: we enjoy suffering, or at least, we can’t resist a good train wreck. And while the world watches, popcorn in hand, we’re left with one haunting thought: what if this isn’t the last April Fool’s joke in American politics? What if, four years from now, we find ourselves staring down the barrel of yet another rerun?

As the credits roll on this twisted reboot, one thing remains certain, April Fool’s has never felt so permanent.