Trump vs. Europe with a lot of Greenland in between by Marja Heikkinen

It always starts with a tweet. Then a press conference. A hat, maybe. Or a golf cart rumbling across history's grave. And just like that Greenland is in danger again.

Yes, Greenland. The Arctic island nobody invited to the geopolitical party, and yet somehow always finds itself at the center of a Donald Trump tantrum. But this time, it isn’t about “real estate potential” or mineral wealth. No. This time, it’s about Ukraine, Europe, and a man who never really understood maps or alliances.

Let’s rewind.

If Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the weary and battle-hardened Ukrainian president, dares to reject a “peace deal” concocted by Donald Trump likely scribbled on the back of a Mar-a-Lago napkin somewhere between the salad course and the Diet Coke then brace yourselves. Not only will Trump erupt into a chorus of blame, but he’ll direct his fury at the European Union. Specifically France and the United Kingdom, because nothing says “strategic” like blaming a country that already left the bloc.

Let’s be honest: a “hard road to peace” in Trumpian parlance will likely mean capitulation to Moscow in everything but name. Borders redrawn, sovereignty diluted, and photo-ops framed in gold leaf. If Zelenskyy refuses, and he most certainly will (because Ukraine isn’t a pawn in an Atlantic City casino game), Trump will blame everyone but himself. And that’s when things get… icy.

Trump’s relationship with Europe is like a bad high school breakup. He feels betrayed. Europe, with its complex vocabulary and solar panels, never appreciated his “leadership.” In Trump’s eyes, the EU is a wine-sipping, NATO-avoiding, carbon-taxing monolith that owes America, him, specifically, gratitude, deference, and probably back rent.

So when Zelenskyy pushes back, Trump won’t call Putin. He’ll call Brussels. Or better yet, Nigel Farage. He’ll accuse France of "snobbery," Germany of "freeloading," and Macron of being a “little guy with big ideas” because insults are policy in his world. But why stop there?

Enter Greenland. Again. The geopolitical equivalent of a Labrador retriever in a chess tournament.

In 2019, Trump floated the idea of buying Greenland from Denmark. The Danes laughed. Trump, of course, sulked. And now, in this new Cold War remix, Greenland may become his pet project once again, this time, as leverage, distraction, or trophy.

He’ll say it’s strategic. He’ll claim it’s vulnerable to Chinese mining interests or Russian radar bases. He’ll suggest that Europe let it rot, like an old NATO treaty. And in a perverse way, he won’t be entirely wrong, Greenland is strategically vital, and Europe has neglected it. But Trump doesn’t do nuance. He does narrative. And Greenland is now the perfect frozen metaphor.

Trump will escalate. He’ll pull funding from Arctic climate programs, withdraw cooperation on Greenlandic infrastructure, perhaps even suggest military placement “to protect our interests.” All while accusing Europe of instigating global conflict by supporting Zelenskyy’s stubborn love of sovereignty.

It’s the international version of lighting the kitchen on fire because someone criticized your meatloaf.

Trump will push Europe into a corner, not out of strategy, but ego. He doesn’t want peace; he wants credit. And if he can’t get it from Kyiv, he’ll demand it from Copenhagen, Paris, Berlin, or whatever flag Greenland happens to wave today.

The truth is, this entire thought experiment isn’t absurd. It’s prophetic. Trump doesn’t see allies. He sees applause. If he perceives Zelenskyy’s resistance as betrayal, he’ll lash out not at Russia, but at those who embolden Kyiv. And Europe, for all its bureaucracy and brie, has a moral spine that Trump has never quite understood.

In that context, Greenland becomes a theater.icy, distant, symbolic. A place where childish grudges meet adult consequences. Because when you can’t punish Ukraine directly, you punish those who stood by her. And if that means threatening the stability of a Danish territory with 56,000 people and a lot of snow, then so be it.

After all, Trump’s world is simple: loyalty is transactional, maps are optional, and revenge is best served… glacial.

So yes. Trump. Europe. Greenland. One more trilogy we didn’t ask for. And this one doesn’t end with popcorn and applause, just sirens and melting ice.